I've been under the impression that placing pots and pans in the dishwasher will reduce their lifetime. However true that may be, in the overall lifespan of the pots or pans the difference is negligible.
In my experience with non-stick pans, they will wear out from normal use before the dishwasher will wear them out. I usually replace my pans every 2 years depending on use with commercial ones. They're not super expensive to replace, and the convenience of having a good coating is worth it.
What's nice about non-stick, as the name implies, they're really easy to hand wash. As a result they're the last thing I'll put in the dishwasher, but if I'm swamped with things to clean then in they go!
Stainless Steel follows the same rule, hand wash preferred but dishwasher safe. I've had a stainless steel pan for 3+ years now and it's still going strong, handle is well attached and the surface is smooth to the touch. I reserve stainless steel for more heavy duty cooking, such as situations where I make a reduction sauce, foods that require even cooking or anything that could damage non-stick pans. While the dishwasher works, it does a poor job of cleaning the pan and dulls the finish.
What I also find with stainless steel pans is they need an occasional thorough cleaning to remove built up residue. One culprit of such residue is making hash browns at a high temperature--after 7 days in a row of this the pan will get a thin sticky gold buildup. A little bit of elbow grease and acid cleaner like Bar Keepers Friend will remove the majority of this buildup.
So in summary...
Non-stick: Dishwasher safe, hand wash preferred and easy to do. Replace when the coating starts to wear.
Stainless: Dishwasher safe, hand wash preferred and gets the pan cleaner. Occasionally clean thoroughly by hand with Bar Keepers Friend to regain stainless finish.