150 reputation
bio website
visits member for 4 years, 8 months
seen Aug 5 at 20:04

As heard on the street:

Mother: Tomorrow we go swimming. It will be fun. Yay!  
Child: Is tomorrow *now*?

A boy swallows a whole jar of coins, and is taken to a hospital. When the doctor came out to speak with the parents, he said, "No change yet."

Outside a dog a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's hard to read.

A man needed major surgery. They removed all the organs on the left side of his body.

Now he is all right. :)

Q: Why did the farmer watch his lazy cows?

A: He liked to see the meat loaf.

Q: Why did the farmer feed sugar to his sick pig?

A: He wanted sugar-cured ham.

Q: How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader gave him for Christmas?

A: He felt his presents.

Q: What did Geronimo say when he jumped from the plane?

A: Me!!!

Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

A: He was too far out, man.

Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under his car?

A: Because he wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

This user has not answered any questions
Stack Overflow 300,989 rep 30481624
Ask Ubuntu 601 rep 610
Super User 396 rep 17
Unix & Linux 316 rep 14
Area 51 201 rep 5

23 Votes Cast

all time   by type   month  
23 up 9 question 2
0 down 14 answer