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seen Jul 23 at 12:21

As heard on the street:

Mother: Tomorrow we go swimming. It will be fun. Yay!  
Child: Is tomorrow *now*?

A boy swallows a whole jar of coins, and is taken to a hospital. When the doctor came out to speak with the parents, he said, "No change yet."

Outside a dog a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's hard to read.

A man needed major surgery. They removed all the organs on the left side of his body.

Now he is all right. :)

Q: Why did the farmer watch his lazy cows?

A: He liked to see the meat loaf.

Q: Why did the farmer feed sugar to his sick pig?

A: He wanted sugar-cured ham.

Q: How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader gave him for Christmas?

A: He felt his presents.

Q: What did Geronimo say when he jumped from the plane?

A: Me!!!

Q: Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

A: He was too far out, man.

Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under his car?

A: Because he wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

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