So for example. Almond Joy and Mounds bars have coconut that isn't hard like fresh coconut meat, and shredded coconut meat has more of a sawdust like texture (I know that's a poor comparison, but it's the best way I could think of to describe it). Is there something that Hershey does to the coconut to soften it that could be replicated in the kitchen without a chemistry set?
We don't have quite the same products in the UK, but we do have Bounty bars* that sound very similar. The filling clearly has a fair bit of actual shredded coconut in it, but it's too sweet to be pure coconut, and it feels like there's something in between the bits.
Looking at the ingredients, the filling and chocolate aren't separated, but even the dark version contains milk products, so they're likely to be in the filling as well as in the chocolate.
More importantly though, the filling has desiccated coconut, glucose syrup and glycerol.
Mounds ingredients suggest very little milk in the filling.
At home I'd start by simmering desiccated coconut in sugar syrup, possibly also soaking for a while, with glycerine added too. Quantities should, I'd guess, be such that only minimal draining is needed, but you might be simmering long enough to reduce the liquid. Further refinements might involve mixing in a little milk powder once it had cooled, or simmering with cream in the mix.
A big effect on the final texture will be how finely shredded your coconut is. Using a mix of shredded desiccated coconut and coconut flour might be optimal.
You might also look at coconut ice recipes. That leaves the coconut firmer and drier, and commonly uses condensed milk without cooking, though other (apparently older) recipes start by boiling milk and sugar, and may soften more.
* Claims that Mounds are called Bounty in Canada seems unlikely (Mounds are Hershey, Bounty are Mars), but they may be very similar.