Here is the proof:
I'm a bit scared to eat it. What do they do to it?!
Although it doesn't explicitly say so, that's allergy information. It's just been processed in a place that also (potentially) processes those things, so it potentially contains a trace amount, which could be bad if you have a really sensitive allergy. It won't contain enough of those things to matter for any other purpose.
Often labels like that are written along the lines of "processed in a facility which also processes..." to make it a little more clear. The lists aren't usually that long, either; most facilities don't process everything. But as pointed out in the comments, a grocery store is a lot more likely to just have a single kitchen that possibly handles all kinds of things.
If this was processed at the store then there's a pretty good chance they process everything in close quarters where there is a reasonable chance it was packaged alongside some of the other store-packaged products that could contain some of these other things. I definitely would not expect fresh pineapple to include shellfish.
Haha, that's hilarious.
I suspect it's a catch-all legal disclaimer. Put "may spawn bank-robbing zombies" on all your food labels and no one can ever sue you when your zombies rob their bank accounts.
It's really frustrating for people with food allergies: They have to avoid all foods with half-assed legal disclaimers instead of just foods that to actually contain the allergen.