What is this tool I found at the thrift store in the kitchen section?
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2Yes, a wall mounted pie crust sealer. ????– Wayfaring StrangerJun 7, 2018 at 23:06
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1So the only evidence that it’s kitchen related is what someone at the thrift store thought? Did you ask the staff?– SpagirlJun 8, 2018 at 9:07
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2Where are you? There isn't even a country in your bio. As none of us has seen something like this before, it must be quite uncommon, but maybe knowing where you are would help narrow it down. Also is the middle part (roller) removable? It looks like it might be from the assymetry– Chris HJun 8, 2018 at 13:12
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3There is also the possibility that it isn't an anything. Sometimes well meaning people put together bits that look as though they belong together but don't really. I've seen videos of people trying to work out the function of junk shop finds that clearly aren't things so much as assemblages of stuff that could be made to go together and still spin/crank/slide whatever.– SpagirlJun 8, 2018 at 16:30
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1I mean it says patent pending... it might not even have made it to production. Just removing the kitchen context, it looks like it could very well fit a toilet paper roll– augJun 8, 2018 at 23:27
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3 Answers
Following Lorel C's idea, I searched a bit for "patent" "kientz" and "foot massager", and found the patent for this device - https://patentimages.storage.googleapis.com/3b/09/3c/f580058fba56fc/USD243557.pdf
Short answer - yes, it's a foot massager.
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whoahh! 1976?! - for reals? I was imagining more like 1930s or -40s!– Lorel C.Dec 4, 2018 at 23:54
If it is kitchenware, it's got to have an obscure decorative function, or else someone would have figured out the use by now, and it would not have obvious features designed for stationary use (the pads mentioned by NaniBly).
I say, not kitchen at all, but foot massager. It sits on the ground stationary, and you run your tired feet over it. (Assymmetry makes it more versatile for a variety of foot types.) Something like this: 
For sale at Gearbest. No I am not affiliated with them.
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I wonder if it was originally something like a towel holder that someone has repurposed to sit flat (maybe as a foot massager)– Chris HJun 9, 2018 at 17:30
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@ChrisH but why would a towel holder have that asymmetry which would make a towel more likely to bunch up and stay damp? What would make that ‘de luxe’?– SpagirlJun 10, 2018 at 7:54
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@Spagirl I wasn't convinced by my own suggestion, it was just an example. But I wouldn't read too much into "de luxe" given that it appears on all sorts of everyday items– Chris HJun 10, 2018 at 9:31
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Also, a lot of effort was put into the make-up of the roller part. Looks like 2 halves glued-together painted wood (?). Not great for kitchen around food where it will get dirty & soaking wet. If the rest of the item was molded of metal, why not just go ahead and make the roller that same way? ... Feels better on your foot than cold hard metal.– Lorel C.Jun 10, 2018 at 21:39
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Pastry fluting tool ... it could also be a meat tenderizer, I used to have something similar back in the late 50's that i used to roll back and forth over lower grade meat cuts to break the fibers down, not like the pounding ones that cut the meats. You could use it to flatten them for rolled meat recipes too.
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Can you describe how you imagine it being mounted or held to carry out these functions?– SpagirlJun 15, 2018 at 9:11